Fringe
by gillian.hiscott.3
Summary: Fresh out of drama school, talented actress Lara Thompson makes her entry onto the London Fringe. Follow her along the path of dreams paved with ambition, love, jealousy, eccentricity and overbearing vanity in her search for fame. Jonathon Baxby as Producer, writer, and single parent, struggles to realise his dreams on stage and the story gives some insight into what it takes to se


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Lara took a last look at herself in the dingy mirror, wiped a splash of mascara from her cheek and adjusted her shoulder length hair

"You'll do" she told her reflection, adding a sigh "Go break a leg"

Colliding with a white faced brunette on her way out of the swing door she muttered an apology and went back to her seat - an old red and black metal chair which reminded her of primary school

"Lara Thompson"

Lara leapt up, grabbed her bag and the sheets of paper from the chair beside her and followed the thin tall woman with dyed black hair drawn back into a ponytail.

"Come on in" the woman said as she closed the door. Her grey eyes moved up and down to show she was taking in every inch of the fair slight girl she had just shown into the room.

"Hi" said Lara with a smile, knowing that if she faltered or showed any hint of nervousness she would be out of the door again in a second.

There was a semi -circle of chairs in the room and Lara paused, waiting for instructions.

Imogen took her place beside the long limbed looking fair haired guy who seemed engrossed in his perusal of the stapled sheets in his large hand. He looked up at last; his eyes were blue and piercing and seemed to look straight through her.

"Hi Lara, how are you doing?" he asked easily "I'm Jonathon. I will be producing and directing the production. This is Imogen – she's my assistant and choreographer"

"Hi. You got my profile?" Lara's mouth felt dry, as she consciously tried to strike a balance between nonchalance and composure

"Yes. It's here – you're an Academy girl. That's a good start. You have the piece we sent you?"

"Yes thank you" said Laura

"Whenever you're ready then"

Lara took a deep breath

"I wonder that I should be here at all" she said "I am certain I am some part of someone else's unconscious self – too small for this world then immediately too tall. It seems I don't fit in anywhere but that I should be noticed for being.." Lara paused as if considering the matter – "just ordinary. And in order for that to be then everyone else around me must be odd, unnatural – or just stark raving mad!"

"That's fine – thank you" said Jonathon with no alteration to his voice to indicate whether she had done well or not. He turned to the woman on his left "Imogen?"  
"It says in your resume that you are trained in ballet and tap" Imogen asked

"Yes"

"OK then Lara. Would you mind do a bit of tap dancing for me – just pretend if you would that you are on a table full of tea things. You know, cups, cakes, that kind of thing"

"OK"

Lara thought for a minute. She had expected an improvised dance and knew that they would now expect her to tap dance as if avoiding items. So she began in that manner and then with a wry little smile at them kicked her foot widely as if kicking things away then picked up an imaginary large teapot and danced around with an impressive twisting motion, and with an air of theatrical comedy. Panting she stopped and carefully put the imaginary teapot down before giving a little curtsey. She looked up to see Jonathon smiling, teeth gleaming white, and Imogen looking at her with sternly, her eyelids half closed.

"Fine – and you sing soprano, so let's hear it"

"What shall I sing?"

"Whatever you are most comfortable with will be fine"

Lara cleared her throat and started to sing.

"Whoa, whoa" Jonathon held out his hand "What are you doing"

" Symphony in Vienna. Is there something wrong?"

"No, it's fine, just a little operatic for us. Are you sure you're in the right audition Lara?"

"I'm here for the role of Alice. What kind of song would you like me to sing?"

"I don't know, something a little less..." he sought for the right word

"Highbrow?" Lara finished

"Yes"

"Sorry – I just wanted to demonstrate what I could do. How about this.."

She thought for a moment then fell into a fair rendition of "Lady Marmalade" parading the makeshift round with provocative movements

"Whoa" Jonathon held up a hand " Less now. More theatrical. Something from, say 'The Sound of Music'!

"The Lonely Goatherd?"

"Go on then"

Lara proceeded to sing "The Lonely Goatherd" tripping through the octaves with ease and dancing about the stage and waving a finger at the imaginary children following her. Jonathon and Imogen watched her in astonishment until the last note when Lara collapsed into a theatrical heap on the stage as if she had been wearing a large dress which billowed around her. She then got up.

"Have you done much of this kind of thing then" Jonathon cleared his throat, having apparently needing to gain possession of his own voice

"Yes"

"Outside of student productions"

"Well, not exactly but I can't see a difference"

"Oh there will be a difference. In those kinds of things you don't get torn to shreds by the critics. Anyhow, thanks we'll talk it over and let you know. By the way – you do know this role is just profit sharing"

"Yes. It said on the advert 'some expenses'"

"Yes it did. I am certainly hoping to pay expenses but it's not guaranteed"

"I see"

"The profits depend on the success of the production Lara"

"I know that. And I am sure I can make the production successful"

"I'm glad to hear you say that. And you do understand the commitment needed for something like this?

"Of course "

"Just checking. It'll be 4 weeks of intense rehearsing besides learning your lines, songs and all the other production stuff you have to turn up for"

"4 weeks? That's a luxury. I...I understood it would be 3"

"Who told you that?"  
"Oh a tutor. She was telling us of her experiences on the London Fringe during a lesson once"

"3 weeks is fine for a straight play but I like to be comfortable when there's song and dance in the show - You can fit this into your life, work, and etcetera?"

"Yes of course"

"You have a job? "

"Not yet –I live with my gran in Epping and I've had funding and a lot of help from my family"

"And they are willing to go on funding you?"

"No, not indefinitely, but the course hasn't officially ended so I can manage"

OK, well the logistics are your problem – Imogen and I need to talk things over, I'll call you"

"I look forward to it"

Lara knew he was impressed but still wasn't sure yet that she would be offered the role. She knew there was plenty of competition. She had arrived early for the audition and the room had been full. Talented girls, beautiful girls, interesting, maybe even a little plain, short or tall, blonde, brunette, dark. Comedy actresses, dramatic actresses. Most could sing or dance or both. Everyone wanted to be on stage whether they were paid or not, hoping to be noticed waiting for the break which would mean fame and fortune.

The door closed behind her and Jonathon turned to Imogen

"Well, well – that's someone we didn't expect"

"She's good. Too good. If she gets a better offer she'll drop us and we'll be left high and dry"

"I'll take the chance"

"She'll be a complete nightmare to work with. Did you see that dance? I asked her to tap avoiding items on a tea table and she did her own thing. How am I going to control her?"

"Actually you didn't"

"Didn't what?"

"Ask her to avoid anything. Look – she's well trained. She has an air of professionalism about her. She'll be fine, Imogen"

"You've already made up your mind then?"

"It's just one of those people you know instinctively is right. Is there anyone else to interview?"

"Just a couple of guys"

"Thank God –

Lara opened the door of the dingy hall in East London. It was raining, a misty clinging kind of rain but she didn't care. She liked the feel of it on her skin

"You look like you need a cigarette" with a much older woman leaning against a wall smoking. She was bizarrely dressed from head to toe in red, including a red haired wig and red tights.

"I probably would if I smoked"

"I wouldn't worry – you were by far the best. Do you want a cup of tea or something. There's a kind of kitchen in this dump we can use"

Lara needed to wind down and felt there was a familiarity and warmth about the woman so she smiled and followed her back in through the entrance to the shabby hall and into a little room off the entranceway where a sink and kettle sat waiting on an ancient mouldy kitchen unit.

"Another fag Grace?" asked a clear male voice. A short stout guy with a freckled face and curly red hair was sitting at a table "It'll kill your voice. It's starting to already"

"I know, I know" said Grace with a wave of her hand "But we all have our vices you know"

"I don't" said the man piously "At least none that will ruin my health and career"

"You don't have a career" snapped Grace

"Ouch. No need to bitch just because I'm pointing out the obvious to you" Michael said mildly. Lara felt slightly uncomfortable. Grace started to fill the kettle

"Hope you like it black" said the man

"No milk I take it" Grace stated.

"No. But then what's to be expected? As usual everybody expects everybody else to bring it"

"It doesn't matter. I'll just have a glass of water" said Lara

"I'm Michael by the way "

"Lara"

Grace was fumbling about in a wall cabinet with see through sliding plastic doors. She turned her head.

"Darling you're a little taller than me can you reach the glasses on the top shelf"

Lara reached easily over her Grace's head and pulled out a glass from the top shelf , filling it with water from the tap. She drank the water looking directly at Grace in puzzlement

"I've seen you before somewhere" she remarked

"That's nice to know" said Grace "Recognition eh? Very near stardom!"

"Come on you haven't done so bad. Grace has a string of pretty impressive credits as long as your arm, TV, film, West End ..." Michael explained

"It looks impressive but a lot of walk ons and one-liners really though I had a long running role back in the 70s – TV series called 'On the Mend' you're too young to know it of course" Grace dismissed her own importance

"What's your surname?" asked Lara, impressed nonetheless

"My stage name – Grace Gardner" said Grace "my real name is like my age - a well kept secret"

"Oh my God yes I know you now – you were in 'Freshwater' at The Royal last year. I saw it – you were brilliant"

"Thank you darling" Grace accepted the praise with the same low monotone with which she had been speaking "Bonkers of course"

"What?" asked Lara, confused

"Virginia Woolf. It was a hoot though"

"It's a brilliant piece of surrealism. A one off"

Lara checked herself from saying how naturally Grace had fitted into the piece.

"How did you do in there?" asked Michael

Lara shrugged "Who knows? I gave my all. That's all you can do"

"Indeed" Michael agreed

"Are you something to do with the company? You look as if you know your way around here"

"Oh we know our way around _here _darling– so many companies use this place for a practice hall or auditions or whatever because it's cheap" Grace explained

"It's pretty much condemned though as you can see. I think all the buildings along this row are for the chop. Let's just hope Jon Jon Jon can get this show rehearsed first" Michael put in

"So you know Jonathon as well?"

"We do" Grace confirmed "and 'Pop the Hop' Theatre – which is still Jonathon basically. He asked us to come along although we haven't seen him yet. We were hanging around in the hallway like naughty children watching the auditionees turn up. Just to see if we could guess who would get parts"

"So you both will be auditioning?"

"Kind of. Jonathon will use us to fill up all the roles he can't find the actors for"

"That doesn't sound fair. If he knows your skills and trusts you, surely you can get to choose"

"It doesn't matter. We'll do whatever. I asked if I could be the White Rabbit and the porpoise but it seems more likely that I'll also be the Mad Hatter and Tweedledee from what we saw today. A right bunch of no hopers there was. I'm surprised they could even get out of bed. Hardly an actor between them"

"So what about Alice?"

"What about it darling? No contest" Grace remarked

"What do you mean?" Lara asked sipping the water

"We all heard you – you couldn't help but. Where have you been hiding and what are you doing here? Someone should have signed you up by now" Michael said

"Thanks, that's very kind" Lara smiled "I've been applying for loads of stuff and have had a few auditions, but..."

"Of course. Way it is" Grace waved a hand "But something big will come up for you I'm sure"

"Hmm like it has for you and me" Grace remarked "Neither of us exactly 'A' listers"

"But you've had a good career?" asked Lara, puzzled "Why are you doing fringe?"

"Have to keep working – pay or no pay. You'll see, you'll see"

"I don't understand" Lara remarked "If you've made it into paid acting you've made it. I wouldn't want to go back"

"You will. We all do. Do you remember a character called Captain J Kramer?"  
"My God, that was you?"

"The very same"

"And now you're..."

"Back on the fringe. For no reason but the love of theatre – the thrill of performing before a live audience. And when you're past middle aged with your string of credits and the telephone doesn't ring any more you'll be back too"

"I won't" said Lara determinedly. She got up to go

She was frightened to think this would still be her life 20 or 30 years down the line. Wasn't she the special one? Didn't she get the high grades always? The darling of the family she would always believe, as they did, that she was more beautiful, more talented than anyone else on earth. A natural born performer from the age of two she had loved to try to copy the steps of the musical videos her parents would put on for her. At five she started ballet classes and singing lessons a year after. At school it was difficult for the teachers not to always star cast her. She always chose music and theatre studies and was one of the lucky ones to get in on a LAMDA course.

Yes, she decided as she hurried towards the tube. She was determined to be the rising star of stage and screen. Not just an actress to be remembered for a while then forgotten. She would be the new Meryl Streep. She would act and sing and everybody would adore her forever.

**Chapter 2**

"Come on man. You've known me for ages. This is a winner I tell you. 60/40 box office split in your favour. How can you refuse?"

"60/40 in yours and the usual hire money. I'm sorry Jonathon it doesn't matter how you say it. Even if I believed your show would be a huge success and it was, if I agree to your terms it paves the way to continue the terms and the next show is a flop and I lose out. I can't afford to lose out

"Remember The Golden Egg? Death of a Punk? All sell outs"

Jonathon gave his hair a little flick in irritation. The owner of The Blue Swan Public House and Theatre, Greek business man Therron Mikos, known as Miko to everyone gave a little laugh.

" Yes I also remember Men or Mice"

"It was the wrong time of year for that one – wrong actors, lots of reasons. This time everything is right. 50/50 and half the rental. It'll give me more money to spend on the show"

"Sorry its' the usual contract take it or leave it" Miko shrugged "You booked the theatre knowing the terms. . If you don't have the money then don't do the show and I'll let the theatre to someone else"

"Well you can't blame me for trying" sighed Jonathon

"I'll go fetch the contract" said Miko

He went to open a smoke glazed oak door at the back of the bar and jumped to find a young woman standing there

"Hello, Sorry the back door was open and I walked in. I knocked on the front door but I didn't think anyone could hear"

"We don't open till 11 any day" Miko explained

"I didn't know – anyway I'm meeting someone"

She followed Miko into the cool dark atmosphere of the wood panelled room saturated with the smell of beer, wines and spirits

"Hi" said Jonathon his white teeth gleaming in a smile. Now that Lara was relaxed she could see him in a different way. He stood straight and tall. With his fair hair, and in a white T-shirt and pale jacket his outline illuminated in the semi-darkness. There was a stockiness and assurance and about his upper body she hadn't noticed before because she had only seen him in his sprawled sitting position. She remembered his eyes though, blue and piercing and looking into them again, suddenly fell in love. She knew it immediately because it was unlike any other attraction she had ever had before. At 20 she had been in and out of relationships since her schooldays. Experimental in the early days; infatuation for a tutor; friendships leading to something more – all of these she had experienced. She was single at the moment after a fling with a fellow student. She had been enjoying the liberty of her spare time being her own. She didn't think or didn't know that she was ready again for any relationship. Maybe it was her body clock taking matters into its own hands, maybe her sensual side rejecting the lack of a physical mate. Whatever it was this feeling suffused her whole being with a radiance like sunlight striking a pool of water. It crept through her starting from the pit of her stomach and spreading with a tingling sensation outwards to the tips of her fingers and toes

"Coffee?" he asked

"Yes, thank you" she kept her voice steady not wishing to betray herself

"Two coffees, Miko" asked Jonathon moving over to a corner table with a panel screening it from the rest of the pub "Come on we'll sit over here"

They sat opposite each other – she slid onto the bench seat against the wall and he sprawled onto a round wooden chair

"It's a nice place – full of atmosphere" Lara remarked trying to avoid those blue eyes glittering like the Mediterranean sea in high summer lest she should drown in them and not be able to speak at all

"Yes – I'll show you the theatre presently - have you never been here?"

"No" her voice sounded pinched and dry even to herself and she was glad that Miko put a coffee in front of her as it gave her something to do for a moment so she could regain her composure.

"What did you think of the script?" Jonathon kept his piercing eyes steadily on her flushed face and because he was so calm and she was an actress she could pull a film over her own emotions and meet his gaze

"I thought it was brilliant. A grown up Alice talking over her childhood dreams with a psychiatrist! That certainly takes care of a few practicalities"

"And the script?"

The dialogue is clever and the characters are clearly defined"

"Thank you. Lewis Carroll of course provided much of the background and the characters so if it is less than brilliant I can always blame him"

"Are there matinee performances?" Lara asked

"Only on Saturday, why?"

"I can understand the necessity of making it suitable for a pub theatre but I wonder whether some of it may be lost on a children's audience"

"I wonder at it that they were ever meant to understand the original. But they do. Mine does anyhow"

"You have children?" Lara echoed feebly

"Yes. Oliver is 7 Bridget is 5. I read the script to them and Oliver gave me his advice – which here and there I took. And now – Alice"

"Which is why we are here of course" Lara quickly responded

"How do you see her?"

"Yours or Lewis Carrols?"

"Do you perceive a difference – apart from the fact that she has grown up into a woman"

"Well that very fact will change her of course"

"In what way?"  
"Well in a general way she's domineering, an authoritarian, but more importantly she is the epitome of someone we all yearn to be at any age – a child without fear; whatever weird event life throws at her she accepts it head on. The difference is Carrol's girl child yearns – yours doesn't

"How did you come to this conclusion?" asked Jonathon, intrigued

"In the original Alice yearns to be in the beautiful garden. In the play she falls straight into it"

"That was for more practical reasons. It isn't a simple matter you know, without a great deal of money, to fill the stage with tears – or for that matter to make an actor shrink and grow at ridiculous rates"

"I realise that but Carrol's Alice even when achieving entry into the garden did still display signs of dissatisfaction with it hence the yearning still prevails, however slightly"

"You have researched your role pretty thoroughly" Jonathon remarked, impressed "Anything else?"

They talked in this way for a length of time which neither could calculate. People came into the bar, ordered drinks or food, sat or stood, went to the toilet, left, other people came in. Finally Jonathon looked at his watch

"Good Lord – look I've really got to be somewhere else. You got the email I sent?"

"The rehearsal schedule – yes thanks"

"No problems with any of the times?"

"It's fine

"OK, I'll see you next week then"

In an instant he was gone. Lara was left in a warm glow of anticipation for the coming weeks. The shook of instant love was still with it a sense of the hopelessness of it. Jonathon had given her no signals that she was anything other than a catalyst for his dream. But that would be enough for now, she told herself, and it wasn't at all a bad thing to be. She was here at last performing in the real world to a real theatre and this in itself was a big step in her life. She had no reason to hurry back to Islington where her gran would be probably dozing in her chair and missing the news she had wanted to watch. She got up and the table was immediately taken. Miko was behind the bar taking orders and looking flushed.

"Jonathon said he would take me upstairs to see the theatre but he had to go. Is there any chance I could see it?" she asked. Miko shook his head vehemently

"Not a chance at the moment. It's locked and I can't leave the bar. The girl I hired for the lunchtime shift hasn't shown up again"

"Does it quieten down this afternoon?"

"Maybe" Miko shrugged "Who knows. You can hang around but you might have a long wait"

"I could help if you like"

"Have you had any experience?"

"No but I'm a fast learner and I see already there are empty glasses to clear and maybe wash"

"You could be more of a hindrance than a help if I have to show you everything" Miko reflected. He gave a customer change and took orders from another. Lara waited until he was pulling a pint.

"Well what have you got to lose? I'll work for nothing now. If I'm no help just tell me to clear off"

Miko sighed and concentrated on pulling another pint. Before he had finished with the order and taken the money, Lara had collected all the empty glasses she could find and placed them on the shiny mahogany bar. As Miko didn't stop her but continued to take another order she joined him behind the bar and, looking around spotted a sink with a fountain head and proceeded to wash the glasses and leave them to drain. Then standing back behind Miko deftly assisted him by picking up bottles from the shelf as soon as she heard them ordered and pouring them into glasses. She was quick and willing and as soon as there were breaks Miko gave her a few tips. She learnt how to put a measure of spirits into a glass, which wines to use and which glasses were for which drink.

"Show me the pumps" she demanded. Miko hesitated for a moment

"Watch me carefully next time" he said "Or else you'll get such a head on it you'll be wasting time, drinks, glasses"

So she watched and by 3 o'clock she had pulled her first pint successfully. The bar was much quieter now and a little later only a handful were sitting quietly

"Another new girl Miko?" someone sitting on a stool at the bar remarked

"Tell me about it. Watch the till a second Bob we're just popping upstairs"

"Oh yes?" Bob smiled broadly with a raised eyebrow and the guy with him laughed as well

"Don't be stupid - Sorry about their schoolboy humour" Miko apologised to Lara "You want to see the theatre – come on then while it's quiet"

He went through to a doorway at the back of the bar and took a key off the hook. Then he came back and opened top at the entrance to the bar to let them both through. Lara followed him through the bar to a porch at a side entrance where there were toilets and a stairway leading up, posters lining the walls of the ascent. All manner of performances from the one man comic to a full blown cast of Oklahoma. The top landing wasn't very big. A table and chair proclaimed itself to be the box office. Miko put the key into a large fire door with a small glass window and, unlocking the door merely pushed it to ensure it was unlocked and started back down the stairs.

"Lock it up again when you've finished" he called over his shoulder

Lara hadn't really expected Miko to leave her to look on her own, but finding herself so, she felt excited when she went through the door. The room had no windows and was dark and cool. This was a beautiful Victorian building and the walls here were panelled totally with oak, although the bar was only half panelled. 10 rows of faded red velvet theatre seats waited alone for the evening's performance. On the ceiling rows of spotlights made sense of a confusion of wires. The stage ran the whole width of the hall and seemed almost to fill up half the room. Heavy gold velvet curtains hid side entrances. The stage was set for the evening's performance. Just two round chairs by a round table with a check cloth on which sat a candle dripping over a bottle. Simple but it would have been ineffective if the back wall of the stage hadn't been painted as a French Bistro. Lara ran her hand over the vast painting and she sat down on one of the chairs, facing out to the audience. She breathed in the smell of the theatre, a mixture of old wood, wine and dust and something else she couldn't define. Immediately inside her a feeling of contentment rose, but more than that – of belonging. She crossed her legs and smiled coquettishly in the manner of a French tart. She had assumed a role of a play of which she had no knowledge. Savouring a pretended glory as her pretend audience cheered and clapped she got up and bowed centre stage as the star, then went to explore backstage. The side wings were just large enough for a few people to stand ready for their entrances. Boxes of props were labelled and laid out against the far wall. The wings led to a passage around the back of the walled painting which then led out to a large space where sets were able to be stored ready for use. Beyond this space was a doorway into a large single dressing room. Purpose built, as was the theatre, Lara noted with delight, the lights above mirrors above dressing table upon which sat no end of clutter, brushes, make up, hair bands. There was a long rail of costumes, frilly blouses, long coats, short dresses, wide billowing skirts. Some items were untidily thrown over chairs. Some shirts were thrown over an ironing board ready to be decreased. A dog eared script had been cast aside on a chair. Lara picked it up. Many notes had been scribbled in the side margins and a yellow highlighter pen over some of the lines declared this script to belong to the actress who played someone called Michelle. Lara didn't recognise the script. The play was entitled 'Cafe Amėlie'

Lara did not know how long she had spent wandering around the deserted theatre rooms until a voice called

"Are you still here?"

She came from the wings as if she were a part of them. Miko was standing in the entrance to the theatre

"Yes. Sorry – I was just taking it all in. It's a beautiful theatre" she said with assurance now, coming across the stage and walking down the centre wooden steps towards him

"Yes, well. It was my wife's passion really. She died last year"

"I'm sorry"

"Over 30 years we have owned it. She wanted it. I ran the bar and she the business side and the theatre. She put more into it than I can you know, publicity and whatnot. I still carry on things the way we did but .."

"It's difficult" Lara finished for him "Maybe it's more of a nuisance for you now"

"No, not really. The theatre groups do everything. I just take the hire fee – and sell some tickets from the bar you know, but it's not like it was for sure. The recession and everything. People aren't coming to the theatre so much theatre groups come and go or disappear. There aren't so many"

"Maybe it's time to change" Lara suggested

"If I knew how to change the world my dear I would do it"

"You don't have to change the world, just your attitude to it I think. I heard what you said to Jonathon. Sorry I couldn't help it – about the contract and all that"

"Yes the contract – I forgot to give it to him. He must sign it. Are you going to see him soon"

Lara knew this was her only chance

"It's just that – well in order to keep things happening you may have to bend a little you know"

"No, oh no little girl. You've no idea how much it costs to keep this place going. I can't afford to take risks – times are harder than ever. This play here is not doing so well, even on the weekend it is only half full"

"From the script I read I'm not surprised. Listen, trust me I know about theatre" She earnestly hoped that she sounded older than she looked. She must have as Miko did seem inclined to listen

"This show from Pop the Hop is going to be good – very good. It'll pull them in, if you do a 50/50 deal and take half the rental won't you be better off?"

"Only if it IS successful"

"So how about I work free for you on the lunchtime shift for the next month and you agree to those terms? If it is successful you've gained extra – if it isn't my free labour will make up for it"

"That sounds fine so long as you actually would turn up for the shifts. You might not"

"I will, I'll do as many as I can now and if the show doesn't look as if it's selling I'll do more then. How's that?"

"Sounds like a flighty kind of deal to me" said Miko although he was enjoying the interchange

"But even with my poor maths you'll surely be better off. Hey you can ban me from the building if I don't turn up. I wouldn't risk being banned from a show I had rehearsed for"

Miko sighed and agreed, he didn't really know why except that he liked being ordered around by women. Now his wife was dead he missed it. There was something about this beautiful young girl. If she did turn up she would be a great asset in the bar – his regulars were already in a state of drool over her.

"Great if you've got a pen then we can just alter the contract before I take it to Jonathon"

"Ok, ok" he said as they went downstairs "And write in that bit about banning you as well"

**Chapter 3**

When Jonathon left Lara he hurried to the tube, deflated, annoyed with himself. He had been so engrossed in the conversation with Lara that the time had slipped by and he was late to pick up Oliver from school and get him to the dentist. By rudely jumping queues and sprinting up and down escalators he made it to the school only five minutes later than he had intended. Oliver was duly extracted from his classroom, bungled into his coat and taken to the dentist via a short ride on the tube. He loved to go on the tube. He loved the way the trains went so fast and screeched up to the station to a sudden halt. When he was younger it made him laugh and now he was older and more sensible it made him smile.

"Mind the gap" he said in time with the recorded admonishment as the doors opened with a whooshing sound.

"What?" his Jonathon asked absently.

"Quick, get on the train" said Oliver, jumping on and pulling Jonathon

"There's plenty of time" Jonathon laughed remembering that in his role as a parent there was much enjoyment to be had in reliving the simple pleasures of childhood, besides being mindful of timescales and responsibilities. For example there was getting Oliver to the dentist and back to the school in time to pick up Bridget then getting them back to the flat in safety. That being done he could relax a little. He sometimes thought it would be nice if they didn't live in London – In an ideal world they would all live happily as a family in a little village in a cottage with a garden and the kids could just walk to a local school. This had been their dream when he and Una were young and idealistic.

But things hadn't worked out. Una had left him. They had met in their early 20s when they were both climbing the ladder in marketing. They had fallen in love but never having seen the necessity for marriage - had just set up home together in a small flat in Kensington. But Una was someone who wanted everything, children, nice home, cars, job. She tried juggling working with motherhood and to help and please her Jonathon had given up full time employment and went self employed as an events organiser. He soon found himself in demand and making good money from the big companies. After Bridget was born Una suffered depression, told Jonathon it wasn't working anymore and simply walked out, leaving him with the children. He knew deep down it was because she was selfish. She wanted her independence, her job back without hassle. She had wanted to exonerate herself from full-time motherhood but in order to appease her conscience and her critics, had them at the week-end. Selfish always rarely did she fit in with Jonathon's needs and after a year left to work in Dubai. He had found it a struggle for a few years. But he coped and a pattern was established. When they were little he had taken them on jobs with him and when he was busy, his assistant Imogen Turner would watch them. He had met Imogen when he was helping an old uni friend on a theatre production. Theatre was his first love. It had formed the basis of his studies and was now his hobby. Any money left over he put into a fund for productions. He was a natural dramaturg and organiser and had a need to control the whole process of a play or show. He was 31.

Imogen Turner adored him. She knew she was not attractive to men and was never likely to be. Her nose was too hooked and her mouth too thin. At 38 she accepted that she would now likely to remain a spinster for the rest of her life. She knew Jonathon never gave her a second glance or thought of her as anything other than a friend, and with that she had to be content. She was a trained dancer and had been in the chorus in a few west end shows. Being lonely she had offered her help free to theatre groups as choreographer. Jonathon recognised in her a thoroughness and need for perfection which he himself possessed and paid her when she acted as his assistance on paid jobs. She did everything he asked and more, whether it was work, theatre or babysitting

He was not aware that Imogen was in love with him or that Lara had fallen for him. The thought never occurred to him. He was so wrapped up in his plans for the production that even if he did spare a thought for Lara he would dismiss her as being too young for him. He didn't see her as anything other than the Alice he had written about in the script. Except that he knew she would make it more than he had ever hoped she would be.

He was impressed when she turned up for her first rehearsal with the contract.

"How did you get the tight old misery to agree?" he asked astonished when he looked at the penned alterations

"We beautiful young women have ways" she said with a wink and a French accent.

"You didn't?"

"Didn't what sir?" she instantly changed to an innocent cockney accent "Cor blimey you don't mean..."

"Shut up you fool – no seriously – How?"

"I made a bargain. I'm helping him in the bar for a while"

"For as long – or a as little as I can get away with. But I'll keep him happy don't worry"

"Oh Lara – what a team player! Thanks anyway - now I can afford a set and costume a designer and we'll do the thing properly"

"Why, weren't you going to?" A supercilious voice behind them asked. They turned their heads to a man in his 40s, his hairline receding, his waistline advancing. A tweed jumper and creased jeans proclaimed the correctness of his nature.

Of course I was" said Jonathon with an affronted tone, resenting the implication that his production might not be up to standard "Lara you haven't met Louis Lamont who is to play Humpty Dumpty"

"And the King am I not?"

"And the King and Tweedledee – Louis this is Lara who is to play Alice"

"Hmm, a little old"

"Not for this play, she's meant to be an older Alice"

"I'm, thinking of the audience's expectations that's all. But it's as you wish. She is not what I expected to see but then a good makeup artist will sort her out "

"Well that is something we don't have I'm afraid and you will have to put up with it" declared Jonathon firmly

"Oh really" Louis Lamont sighed "Well then you really are lucky to catch me between jobs"

"And what jobs was that Louis?" asked Jonathon, nettled, "A guardsman in 'The Gladiator' or the ticket tout in Poirot?"

"Poirot?" asked Lara

"One episode, one line" Jonathon told her, not too quietly behind his hand

"I was paid equity rates"

"Well these two have been paid more than that in the past" said Jonathan gladly, seeing Grace and Michael came in through the swing door of St Justs hall arm in arm re-anacting a scene from 'Chicago'

"Mrs Hart I think you're wonderful – I know you didn't do it"

"That's sweet of you to say so but if tell anybody I'll wrap a chair round your throat"

"Right before you two start up a rendition of 'The Cell BlockTango' meet the rest of the cast Lara Turner and Louis Lamont

"Oh we've met Lara already" said Grace coming forward to give her a kiss on the cheek "How are you darling?"

"When?"

"At the audition. We knew you would have her so we celebrated with a glass of water"

"Louis is to play Humpty Dumpty.."

"And the King" Louis quickly interpolated

"And Tweedledee" finished Jonathon

Michael went up immediately and twisting about in a small dance, then stood up straight next to him, then went up on tiptoes, then proceeded to jump up and down

"We're hardly the same size" he remarked

"We'll get round that - shoes, hats, it can done. He was the best of a bad lot" said Jonathon moving away from them all and arranging some chairs "Shall we make a start"

"Best of a bad lot?" questioned Louis dejectedly

"He said 'best we've got'" said Grace placatingly

"I thought he said..."

"No he definitely said 'best we've got'" said Michael taking him by the arm and proceeding to march off in a way that Louis had to follow

"Didn't he Lara?"

"Indeed he did" agreed Lara

The rehearsal promised well. Lara had already learnt most of their lines even though Jonathon simply wanted them to read the script through with just a little placing so he could make notes.

"It's OK Lara, you can pick up the script" he told her when she hesitated

"I was just trying to see if I could remember the lines" Lara explained

"Well do that in your own time" Jonathon said curtly "Its interfering with the flow just now"

"Sorry" she agreed quickly, picking up her script

"Don't take any notice of Grumpy" Grace told her , dressed this time, completely in lilac "He forgets we are real people with real needs. When are we taking a break Jon Jon? I'm gasping for a fag"

"Jesus, Grace I don't put needing a fag down as a genuine consideration" said Jonathon mildly but knew that it was wise to be indulgent "Ok everybody 10 minute break"

During the first week the rehearsals began to settle into a pattern. Louis was unbearably pompous but always remembered to bring milk, tea and biscuits. Lara was too intense and did everything she was told. Michael and Grace did little they were told and everything right. Jonathon was indulgent and patient (mostly) and somehow always seemed to be in control.

He personally preferred to rehearse mornings as much as possible but had to arrange rehearsals around Michael's shifts as a waiter and Lara needing to turn up at The Blue Swan at lunchtime. Some evenings and Sunday afternoons were threaded into the schedule. On Sunday afternoon Bridget and Oliver armed with colouring books and a new hand held computer game were put to sit quietly in the corner but could not help but watch and laugh as Grace, already theatrically dressed in a floral maxi dress and draping silk floral shawl with a huge daffodil in her hair paraded about the stage with mock dignity, shrieking out her lines in such a way that anything she could have said would have been funny.

"Darling where did you get this stuff?" asked Lucas, the very camp set and costume designer who had arrived to eye up the characters he had to dress whilst writing on a pad 'extrovert – needs to be noticed' next to her name

"Charity shop, darling" Grace told him holding out a foot to show a yellow stiletto show decorated with an artificial daisy "Hobby of mine whenever I get the chance. I've got wardrobes full of stuff – outfits all in one colour including wigs and hats – outfits completely stripped or completely floral – you name it, I've got it. If you need anything just shout"

"I'm working pure darling thanks – everything will must be absolutely and utterly new born and created entirely for the show"

"Within a budget of course" Jonathon reminded him coming up

"I think a regal purple suits me really well" Louis interpolated helpfully

"Yes I'm sure it does" said Lucas writing 'needs to seem important' next to his name and turning over the pad so he couldn't see it.

"Grace, Grace!" shouted Bridget running up and pulling on her shawl so that it slipped and fell down on the floor.

"Careful, sweetie" said Grace and swooping it up, tied it securely with a large knot around the little girl

As the day progressed, further serious rehearsal became more and more out of Jonathon's clutch as discussions on costume and colour took place, and Grace chased excited children around the hall in pretended anger

"They're you're children darling" she called to him finding his eyes boring into her as she scampered past. Finally, breathless, she took herself off for a cigarette.

"Are you OK? It's a madhouse here" said Jonathon as Lara brought him a cup of black tea, no sugar

"It's certainly not like any student production" she remarked

"It's not like a West End one either" Jonathon replied wryly "Do you want to see a play tonight?"

Lara's heart seemed to stop for a minute. It seemed as if he were asking her on a date but as her mind started to work again she told herself to be cautious

"Any particular reason?" she asked casually

"Lucas has two free tickets spare to the production he last worked on and he doesn't have any use for them so he thought it might be useful for us to see what he can do. I can't make it of course as I haven't sorted out a babysitter and I thought as leading lady you should at least have first refusal of one of them.

"Yes I will, thank you" said Laura, disappointed.

It turned out that Michael was working, Louis was going to visit his mother in Hemel Hempstead and staying over, and Grace had already seen it (it was not clear that she meant the play or this particular production of it but no-one probed any further)

"I tell you what darling. Shouldn't go running round like that at my age" she said breathlessly "I'm pretty tired. Why don't I come round and babysit and you two young lovers go"

"I'm scarcely young and we're not lovers" Jonathon remarked as Lara held her breath "But thanks, that would be great – if that's OK with you?" he turned to Lara as an afterthought.

Lara merely shrugged and smiled, determined to be cool. It wasn't the most romantic proposition but it was enough to make her ecstatic.

How to deal with this irony she did not quite know. There was hardly time to prepare for the evening once the afternoon was over and she had gone back home to shower, and change. If she had had time to think she would have been careful in her choice of clothes, , flattering but not suggestive, or at least only covertly so. As it was she grabbed more or less the first item hanging in her wardrobe, a short military style dress in crisp brown linen with a matching belt. Unconsciously infused with Grace's policy on style she absently pulled out a pair of matching brown suede knee length boots from the wardrobe, added a long flowing coat, ran a brush through her hair and went.

"Are you not going to eat before you go out?" her gran asked as she ran down the stairs. It had been Molly Thompson's mission for the past two years to ensure her granddaughter 's life beat with some kind of regularity knowing how the young tended to disregarded such things as sleep and food in the pursuit of excitement, diversity, shock tactics, anything really which would distance them from the parental harness and give them credibility as individuals. In vain had Lara tried to explain to her that it was merely her life's ambition to entertain. Her gran loved her but failed to understand her.

"No time. Probably grab something later" said Lara, blowing her a kiss as she went through the front door. As it shut behind her she found herself wondering whether or not it would be acceptable for her to suggest going for a meal to Jonathon if he failed to bring the subject up himself.

The play was The Sea, by Edward Bond. She did not think it was really to her taste but she concentrated, anticipating a conversation on it afterwards and did greatly admire the look of the play which Lucas had procured – draping gossamer fishing nets, a giant starfish and turquoise silk were all impressively arranged on stage as the main character in a torn cream shirt and beige shorts, groaned his way through his lines. Beside her Jonathon gave a deep sigh once or twice and being acutely aware of that Lara missed some poignant lines in the play. The play was in a studio attached to a larger theatre and was only half full which, as Jonathon remarked in the interval, was pretty bad for a Saturday night. The main show audience had not yet come out so they found a seat easily. He handed her the glass of dry white wine she had asked for and sat on a stool opposite her, spilling lager from his pint on the table.

"So does working in fringe theatre live up to your expectations?" he asked mopping the puddle he had made with a nearby bar mat. Lara considered her answer

"Yes but I didn't really expect people to call each other 'darling' and 'sweetie' and all that kind of stuff'"

"Didn't you? Well some expressions are a little infections. Grace is of the old school so it is second nature to her. Lucas hangs around a lot with old school – its the only kind who can afford him"

"This set looks good"

"Yes. Lucas' is a consummate skill. He allows another's creativity to flourish from what it needs rather than seeing it as a catalyst for his own ideas. What do you think of the play?"

"It's a little weak but I'm not that familiar with Bond"

"Weak is an understatement. I've seen it done so much better and it's difficult not to make comparisons"

"Do you want to go?"

"Leave in the interval?" Jonathon raised an eyebrow at her "Certainly not. "We'll be missed"

"Will we?" asked Lara, perplexed

"Yes very likely. Someone, be it actor, producer or stagehand will realise there is someone missing from the audience. I never walk out during an interval. It would be so hurtful to all those who have put in so much time on it"

Lara stared at him, the love deepening in her for his consideration of people he did not know. So they stayed till the end and clapped and cheered louder than anyone else in the audience.

"I need to eat" Lara ventured when they were outside the misty night air heightening senses "Do you want to come for a burger or something?"

"Not, not at all" said Jonathon decisively. Her heart sank "I finished off Bridget's earlier and pretty revolting it was. There's an Italian just a block away – if we're quick we can get our order in before the theatre turns out"

In London streets London houses dig down beyond the pavement then rise tall, embracing each other in a way the inhabitants cannot. Here and there curtains hide lighted rooms, here and there they don't, giving a view of white ceilings adorned with ornate cornices or a central rose. Basement curtains are tightly pulled over. Once elegant buildings are here separated into flats, dirty windows and peeling paint sings out amongst white walls and shiny black doors.

"I sometimes wonder, when I walk along a street like this and look up, if they are happy – the people in those lighted rooms" mused Jonathon

"Let's ask them" Lara suggested in a moment of impulsive mischievousness.

She turned suddenly and walked up a flight of steps, weeds forlornly peeping out from cracked cement. Looking up and down the building she then choose a bell from the line and rang it. A woman's pale face appeared from a lighted window above her head, then frowning she came to open the door

"Hi" said Lara "We were just wondering if you were happy?"

"Oh not today thank you" close up, Lara could see that the face was lined framed by dyed auburn hair. The door was starting to close.

"Who is it? A male voice floated from somewhere at the back of the building

"Jehovah's witness" Lara just caught as the door slammed shut. At the bottom of the steps Jonathon was sniggering uncontrollably

"That went well" he managed to say

"Shut up" she told him and rang another bell. A curtain twitched at the very top of the building and after a prolonged wait, Lara rang again, determined to prove to Jonathon that it was a worthwhile exercise. The door opened again and a pair of brown eyes in a brown face peered out under a mop of tousled black hair.

"Good evening I – we're from a government department and are conducting a survey. Could you tell me whether or not you are – in a general way – happy or not?"

"You want to see visa? I have visa?"

"No I don't need to see your visa. Please could you just answer the question" Lara answered him, ignoring the guffaw from the street

"I don't understand question" the brown eyes narrowed suspiciously

"Happy – you know contented"

"I work for GBR people. They say is OK. They make arrangements – I can phone friend to speak to you"

"No really – look I can see this is worrying you. I will mark it down that everything is fine for you" sighed Lara beginning to walk away

"I don't understand" the brown face looked puzzled. A door opened behind him and the pale lined face woman appeared again

"It's all right Zay – they are just Jehovah's witnesses. Come away"

"They say they are from government" said Zay

"What!" the woman exclaimed looking out with a stern face at Lara

"No really – he has got confused. Please carry on with your evening" sighed Lara walking down the steps. The door shut. Lara joined Jonathon who by now was practically doubled over with laughter

"A simple question!" she exclaimed as they walked off down the street "And it can't bring a simple answer. Why is everyone so suspicious?"

"Because you acted in an uncharacteristic way for an English household on a Saturday evening. People need to pigeon hole everything that happens so you got pigeon holed. Never mind you idiot I've never laughed to much in my life. You certainly made me happy"

"Well then my efforts weren't in vain" said Lara, feeling suddenly warmed. They arrived at the restaurant. It was already crowded.

"Did you book?" the Italian waiter asked them as they came through the door

"No – that of course would have been the sensible thing to do" replied Jonathon

"It's Saturday night" the waiter shrugged "There is no space – sorry. You can have takeaway"

"Oh hell" Jonathon looked at his watch "I don't know where we're going to get in now and I really haven't got time to go searching. I need to relieve Grace. Maybe we should have done as you suggested and gone for a burger. Sorry. What do you want to do?"

"Get a takeaway" Lara suggested

"Really? Where are we going to take it? Oh I know we can knock on someone's door and if we can use their dining table..."

"Haven't you ever eaten a pizza in the street before?" Lara asked him with mock surprise

"I don't know – maybe when I was younger I did stuff like that. All right then, that's what we'll do"

They ordered pizzas and drank wine whilst they waited and, taking the half empty bottle with them walked until they found a place to sit. This being the bottom of a flight of steps leading to an impressive ornate building - closed. Before them the moon cut bright and full through a mist throwing shimmering white reflections over the River Thames.

"London is such a paradox" Lara remarked "It's so full of itself, devouring the people who live in it like a huge monster devouring its young, robbing them of their identity or their minds – depending who. And then there are times when it purrs like a sweet kitten giving little ripples of pleasure, echoing history, offering protection"

"Shall you stay here?"

"Whilst I need it – no longer. By choice I would not. And you?"

"The same. I always thought I would prefer to live in the countryside or by the sea. But London oozes theatre, music, dance. Turn a corner, walk down a street, these things are just a heartbeat away"

"Oh come now. Have you forgotten your studies? Theatre can start from nowhere – can be plucked out of the air, be created out of a handful of people. Walls don't create theatre. Cities don't either. People do.

"I agree - but it must start in the mind and soul of a creator. Only the wherewithal to bring alive that seed of creation is with the singer, the actor, the setting"

"And can these things not be found in beautiful places?"

"You would think so. But one doesn't have the choice – the pick of the best. One must make do. You have also forgotten that you need an audience"

"It depends why you need them. If it's to achieve fame and money then yes – we do need London. If it's simply for appreciation of the piece created and the way it is created then – no, anywhere, anyone will do.

Lara got up and began an ascent of the wide steps on which they had been sitting "Audiences are easy – watch this"

Ascending and then descending the steps with dance movements she sang 'I'm in love with a wonderful guy!' from South Pacific, clear musical tones rising and calling as if in invitation through the cool night air.

Like leaves falling from a tree in Autumn searching for a place to settle, a crowd began to gather on the pavement and across the road by the riverside. A police car drew to a halt and two officers got out. Lara finished the song at the bottom of the steps. Two young men, proud and officious in their uniforms, themselves learning from the London streets and watching for an opportunity to use their training in any situation which would distort them from a safe and normal environment. The only thing that seemed to distinguish one from the other was that one was taller.

"What are you doing?" asked the tallest

"Singing" replied Lara "And dancing"

"It's a little late for busking" the other remarked

"I wasn't busking"

"Promoting then – hustling isn't strictly legal"

"I was singing and dancing officer, nothing more, nothing less. Is singing and dancing against the law?"

"No but creating a distraction for motorists is – and causing an obstruction on the pavement isn't the best idea you've had today. Go along to Hyde Park if you have to perform in public. There's a platform...

"I don't need a platform and I don't have anything to say officer thank you. I was merely amusing these poor people" she indicated the few intrigued stranglers behind them.

"Well assuming the show is over perhaps we may all move along" the taller officer addressed the small crowd, who had been content to regard this interruption as part of the act,but on being referred to as 'poor people' had lost interest anyway and did not need 'moving along' to be on their way.

"Wait a minute" the shorter one had returned to his car and was examining a set of notes on a clipboard "This person fits the description we have of someone acting suspiciously in this district. It's the coat" The clipboard was shown to the tall officer.

"Can I help officer?" Jonathon asked anxiously. He wanted to get home now to relieve Grace.

"Maybe" the tall officer finished his perusal of the sheet and looked up

"Who are you?"

"Jonathon Baxby. A friend"

"I see. Well this lady here fits the description of a young woman calling at people's houses trying to gain entry"

"I was not trying to gain entry" said Lara indignantly "I merely asked them if they were happy"

"Well one says you said you were a Jehovah's witness and one said you said you were from the government and that you wanted to come in to check his papers"

"This isn't true. They were mistaken. I did not once say I was a Jehovah's Witness, the person assumed I was and you see because she didn't believe me I told the other one that I was from the government"

"God that sounds suspicious even to me" Jonathon broke in impatiently "But she's right officer. This is really all about nothing. We had just been to the theatre and were just having a conversation and a laugh and I wondered if the people in the houses were happy and Lara decided on an impulse to ask them"

"I am impulsive" Lara agreed

"Yes we noticed" said the shorter officer

"So if you don't mind – we really need to get home now. I have young children and a babysitter waiting"

"That's as may be sir but we need to take a statement from you. You may come into the station tomorrow"

"Oh hell" Jonathon groaned "I had planned to take the kids to Chessington tomorrow. I really don't want to be bringing them to a police station. What about Lara?" he asked as an afterthought

"She needs to come with us now. We'll ensure she gets home safely"

"It's OK I'll come in tomorrow as well" said Lara, now beginning to feel upset that she had ruined Jonathon's weekend  
"Well no – we would ask you to accompany us now madam. We need to do some tests and search you. A lady officer will do it at the station"

"Search me? Whatever for?"

"It really would be in your best interest madam to eliminate the possibility of any..."

"Drugs" Jonathon finished for him "Look we'll both come now. I'll just ring Grace, see if she can stay the night"

As Lara got into the car dejectedly with the officers. He went aside and dialled his home phone. Impatiently he waited, it seemed for ages for it to be answered.

"Hi Grace it's me"

"Oh Jonathon, I was asleep. Where are you?"

"Lara's been arrested"

"Arrested?" Grace repeated, bewildered "What for?"

"Oh nothing really. She was asking people if they were happy and singing and dancing"

"So what's to get arrested for? It's what we do"

"I know WE do but they don't know that we do, or understand why we do it. They must have reasons"

"The police?"

"Everyone. Can you stay? I'll run you back in the car in the morning"

"Of course. Hey tell her to tell them..."

"I know,I know - 'She didn't do it, she wasn't there'" he sang "Goodnight Grace – see you later sometime"

"Don't wake me"

He walked over to the police car and got in the back seat beside Lara.

"OK?"

"Yeah. Don't you want to ring your gran?"

"Not likely" said Lara "And tell her what? That I'm just off to the police station? No – she's used to me rolling in at the early hours or even staying out all night. I'm a grown up person now"

Lara was strip searched by a female officer, blonde curls clipped back who laughed all the way through Lara singing 'Anything goes'

"Thanks" said Lara getting dressed "You look like Rita Ora you know. Sure you can't sing?"

"Oh I assure you I can't sing"

"I'm going to be a star someday"

"I'm sure. Where did you say you were performing. I'll come along"

Statements given tests clearing them they were taken home, weary, deflated by the system. It was the early hours of Sunday morning.

The next rehearsal was for Tuesday afternoon when Imogen was to go through her dance routines. Saturday night forgotten Lara made a leisurely trip from her shift at The Blue Swan to Broom Hall. She was not really looking forward to it and attributed it to Jonathon not being there and having to be directed by Imogen. Although they had at this point very little to do with each other, Lara had felt Imogen's coldness towards her.

She turned a corner expecting to see the usual row of boarded buildings but found instead only half a row and Broom Hall gone. A bulldozer was scooping rubble into a pile at the end whilst men in orange hard harts crawled here and there looking busy and important.

"Hey what's going on?" she asked walking up to Imogen who was looking through the temporary security fencing

"God knows" Imogen said in bewilderment "But Jonathon couldn't have known or he would have told us"

" We should phone him" said Lara taking her telephone out of her handbag

"I have. He isn't answering. I left a message – dammit I'm trying to attract someone's attention but no-one's looking this way and they can't hear me through that noise"

"Hang on then watch this"

She took a few deep breaths then let out a shrill high note. There were two men with shovels with their backs to them who were within hearing distance and they turned in surprise.

"Useful being a singer sometimes" Lara remarked

Both she and Imogen made wild summons with their arms to come over. One of the men dropped his shovel down on a pile he had just created and came across, feeling that talking to a couple of women, one of them drop dead gorgeous was a welcome diversion for a dull working day.

"What's going on?" asked Imogen

"We're clearing these buildings – order of the Council. I think it's for a new road system"

"But we had hired the hall today – that one in the middle there"

"Sorry, you can't come in here it's a danger zone. You'd better contact whoever you hired the hall from" he added willing to be helpful

"Who would that be do you know?" asked Lara. The man scratched his chin thinking

"No – Council probably since they were the ones who had to purchase it"

"Are you from the Council?" asked Imogen

"No we're the contractors – F & R Demolition . You could phone the office I suppose"

"Do you know who we should speak to?"

"No"

"Never mind. What's the number then?"

"I don't know"

"Well we'll just have to wait for Jonathon to sort this out" said Imogen turning away, realising that it was futile to expect any further information.

"Shall we try phoning him again?" asked Lara

"No point" Imogen replied glancing at her watch "He'll be on the underground now for the school run. As soon as he gets my message he will ring me"

With this she proudly demonstrated familiarity of Jonathon's movements and likely actions, her eyes glinting with a flash of possessiveness at the beautiful young girl before her, and in an effort to devalue Lara's importance bid her to go home and wait till she heard from him.

"I'll go around to his flat. Likely by the time I get there he will have returned and will be phoning me anyway but it could save a bit of time. And when a production has a problem, time is of the essence – coming?"

She began to walk away in the direction of the tube station, expecting Lara to follow her. But Lara hung back

"Then you do that and I'll wait in case he turns up here"

Imogen paused pondering this point then reflected that Jonathon would have phoned her immediately he had got her message so felt safe that it wasn't likely to happen.

"As you wish but I don't see any point even if he does" she sniffed "He can see for himself what's happened and talk to them just the same"

"Yes, but I'm the one who can hit C in alt"

Lara had made her point and her hunch proved right. She sat on the opposite side of the road watching the progress of the demolition for about half an hour then smiled to see Jonathon hurrying towards her, a child in each hand.

"What the hell is going on?" he demanded in irritation

Lara told him all she knew

"Bulldozer daddy!" exclaimed Oliver excitedly. The children were mesmerised by the sight of the great machine boring into a section of a building causing a wall to crash down

"Bulldozer indeed" he sighed, quickly searching the contact list on his phone. Pressing a number he waited, then with a flick of impatience stopped the call and looked at Lara, his eyes bright and glittering

"I've been had!" he said a little dazedly "I can't believe it"

"What do you mean"

"The hall was privately owned by an Indian guy called Abhu Desai. He always wants money up front for rehearsal space and its always necessary to book well in advance because the place is – I correct myself – was – very cheap and getting cheap rehearsal space in London is no easy feat" he paused for breath

"And he failed to mention any of this" Lara finished for him

"And – oh what a surprise, his number is no longer in use"

"Do you know where he lives?"

"No. He used to own the shop next to it and this was always the address on the invoice. Even with the shop boarded up I didn't think much about it. I just assumed he was using up old stationery. But at the moment this isn't what I need to worry about. We need rehearsal space quickly"

"What about the pub?"

"We're not due in there for a couple of weeks. What's on at the moment?"

"Just a comedy trio –no set and not many props"

"Any matinees?"

"No. It's adult humour"

"Well that's a start. With a bit of luck they won't mind us using the stage but that still doesn't help with the problem of evening rehearsals – No Monday performance I take it?"

"No"

"Well that helps. I'll just see what can be arranged with Michael and Louis Lamont. Afternoons aren't so convenient for me but we'll manage – won't we kids?" he addressed Michael and Bridget who fortunately were still engrossed enough in the activities of the bulldozer

"Daddy can we go to the park now?" Upon being addressed Bridget suddenly became restless

"In a while"  
"Shall I go around and see Miko and check about rehearsing in the theatre during the day?"

"Oh hell yes find out what he wants. The budgets gone now"

"You mean he'll want more money?"

"He'll want more money" said Jonathon grimly

"We'll see about that" said Lara firmly as they all began to walk off to the tube station. Jonathon's telephone rang and he answered it

"I'm at the site with Lara, Imogen"

In her mind's eye Lara could see Imogen's expression.

"Listen can you babysit tonight I've got to arrange a few things? I'm going to the theatre to sort out space there but I'll have to go watch the current performance"

Imogen made a reply

"Of course on my own why do you ask that?" responded Jonathon

"Sounds like a jealous wife" Lara remarked when he had finished the call, nonetheless disappointed that it had not occurred to him to ask her to accompany him.

"Oh it's not like that, Imogen's been a great friend. She's a lonely old spinster and we're her surrogate family though"  
"It's more than that. She is desperately in love with you and entertains secret hopes that you'll return her love" said Lara with an attitude of romantic fervour

"Oh you actresses with your daft fantasies"

"No it's true" said Lara adopting her normal tone

"Yes it is true daddy" said Oliver "she wants to be our new mummy"

"Did she say that to you?" Jonathon asked in amazement. They had reached the steps of the tube station and were beginning to descend

"No but it's why she tries so hard for us to like her" he said seriously with instinctive wisdom

Jonathon picked up Bridget, who was dawdling and at the bottom of the steps Lara to needed to part company with them to get her connection

"Bye" said Lara with a bewitching smile so that Oliver just at that moment began to wish he was older without really knowing why .

**Chapter 4**

"You didn't say you'd be here" said Jonathon coming into the bar of the Blue Swan later

"Well I wasn't going to be but someone needs to earn the rehearsal space" said Lara pulling a pint for a customer, putting it carefully down on a beer mat and taking money with a smile

"You're a doll" said Jonathon "A real gem. Pity I can't keep you"

"How do you know you can't?" she couldn't help but remark "Just lucky though that Miko was let down again with bar staff. He's OK with using the theatre daytime for rehearsals so long as you square things with Oops. I'll get you a ticket for tonight"

She reached in under the bar and taking out a square of cardboard from a tin, handed it to him. The Blue Swan will pay the ticket"

"Huh – she drives a hard bargain this girl" said Miko appearing beside them from the other side of the bar

"Hi Miko" said Jonathon "I don't at all doubt that you are screwing us down as tight as you can"

"Business is business Jon Jon" said Miko selected a bottle of wine from a shelf behind them up "But this one - she is a Godsend to me"

"And don't forget - when our show is over you start paying me" Lara reminded him.

Jonathon automatically counted heads as he took a seat in the theatre reflecting that an audience of 18 was barely adequate even for a Tuesday and was slightly annoyed that despite there being many empty seats someone sat next to him. The auditorium lights went down and the stage lights went up. The stage was bare for several minutes.

"Come on" shouted the guy next to him "We've paid good money for this"

Jonathon started for a minute then smiled, his practised ear catching that the voice came from deep within the chest. This guy was a pro. Two others in the audience started heckling the empty stage for a while. Then the bloke next to him nudged him and said

"May as well go home – shall we go?"

"You go" said Jonathon equally as loud "I'm enjoying the show"

The guy stood up and shook his hand then ran up to the stage

"Well what say we do this show ourselves then. Anyone willing?"

One by one the other two comedians joined him on the stage and the act began, a spirited fast performance with music from various instruments played competently and plenty of audience participation. Jonathon enjoyed it and contributed often, infecting the small audience with laughter and appreciation and at one point found himself in the role of a headless chicken, which he was able to do with such comedy that the audience were in fits of laughter. At the end he remained in his seat until everyone had left except the comedians, who had been by the door bidding everyone goodnight.

"Thanks man" said one, who introduced himself as Rob "You really helped tonight. Good vibes out there"

"Well I'm in the business. I'm putting on the show after yours"

"So you're something to do with the gorgeous Lara downstairs"

"She's our leading lady. How's takings?"

Rob shrugged "Usually story - lucky to break even. Not many in tonight but it'll pick up by the weekend"

"We just need to start rehearsing in here. Miko said to square with you about the set. Do you pick it up after the performance?"

He indicated the stage littered with fallen over table, chairs and strewn newspaper

"Sometimes, but we start with an empty stage anyhow. Don't worry we'll clear it after us, no problem – just be careful of Brian's yuke. It's on a stand in the sides"

"Ok to move it backstage?"

"Nope" said Brian who had been shutting the door and making for the stage "No-one touches the yuke"

Jonathon's immediate thought how he was nothing like his on stage persona. He hung around watching whilst they picked everything up and cleared the stage, unsure of where he stood with Brian.

"You here tomorrow?" Brian shouted as he went back and forth

"I don't know yet – I hope so, if any of the cast can make it"

Brian disappeared for a while and the stage being cleared, the other two jumped down to where he stood. Jonathon offered to stand them all a round in the bar and Brian, to Jonathon's relief then appeared carrying an instrument case.

"I'd rather take it home if you're going to be kicking around everywhere" he explained,

Jonathon reflected to himself that it could have been left back out of the way in the dressing room. Brian was either paranoid or untrusting – either way he had accepted the situation and Jonathon was relieved.

He stayed as long as was polite, checked Lara's times for rehearsing the following day and went home. Imogen had put away the dishes he had left from earlier in the day, tidied the kitchen and was sitting composedly watching TV. He thought of what Lara and Oliver had said then.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to do my housework" he told her

"How did you get on?" she asked

"I think it'll be OK. Lara is doing extra shifts in the bar

"My isn't she the wonder woman?"

"Why don't you like her Imogen? She's beautiful, talented and her dedication to this production is highly impressive"

"Maybe it's because she's beautiful and talented and I'm just plain old Imogen"

"So it's the old green eyed monster syndrome. But you're beautiful in your own kind of way and as talented in your own field and dedicated – it goes without saying. I can't do without you"

He had stopped short of saying 'dedicated to me' but in the way that some men are blind it had never occurred to him that she was, and that she was because she was in love with him. After this production was over he would have to stop and think about his future with Imogen around. Was he just using her for convenience? Deep down he knew if that was the case then it wasn't fair.

He sent her home then texted the rest of the cast as to who could make it the next afternoon. Lara and Imogen were running through Lara's dance moves in the morning, Lara was then doing the lunchtime bar shift and Imogen was coming back here to be with the children whilst he met the cast in the theatre for the rehearsal reschedule and if there was time he hoped to start blocking. He knew he owed the girls big time for their part in making this production happen but then he also knew that in the theatre everyone is in it for their own satisfaction and ambitions. He was relieved that hardly any time had been lost so far but excited about being on the right stage and so couldn't sleep. He stayed up until the early hours going over his notes and plans and making lists so that the production would run as efficiently as it could.

**Chapter 5**

And so it did in what might seem to the observer to be a wacky, untidy way with only a few real hiccoughs. The most worrying was that Louis couldn't remember his lines from one day to the next and the worst of when it was discovered by Michael that Brian had left his Yukelali behind on its stand, on the last night they were to perform, and whilst waiting for Jonathon to arrive struck up several verses of 'when I'm cleaning windows' Unfortunately at the moment when Jonathon did arrive a string broke.

"Jesus, man - what the hell are you doing? – it belongs to Oops. The guy'll do his nut, notwithstanding they need it to perform tonight!"

"He probably has other strings – I'll own up and tell him..."

"No" aid Jonathon firmly, remembering Brian's attitude to his instrument "How bad is that going to make us look? We should respect the property of other companies. We aren't children" He was angry and Michael was subdued and offered to go and find a music shop and buy a string.

"Forget it" said Jonathan decisively, thinking that he would be quicker and more capable of locating the appropriate shop "I'll go. You all just practise your lines together"

It being a Saturday and tubes and shops in London being what they are on a Saturday it was a good hour and a half before Jonathon returned. To his horror he discovered that Brian had arrived to check on the instrument he had left behind.

"Oh man, I'm sorry – we had no right to - Look I've got another string, the only thing is I don't know if its the right one for a yuke. The assistant in a musical instrument shop knew nothing whatsoever about musical instruments – would you believe it?"

"Yep - Anyway it's all sorted" said Michael, with an air of relief "Brian'll play live music for our routines. Great huh?"

"No-one thought to run this by me?" asked Jonathon walking down the theatre to the stage where they were all gathered, a pink Grace sitting cross legged in the lotus position, Lara next to her, Louis on a chair reading his script and Michael and Brian sitting with their legs swinging over the front of the stage, a pile of papers beside them.

"Anyway, it's out of the question. There' just no possibility of bringing in a live musician one week before the production"

"You're using recorded music" said Brian "You know a well as I it's the cheap alternative. Trust me, I'm good. I've looked through these scores, they're dead simple. I play by ear mostly anyway"

"It's not about learning the scores or playing by ear" said Jonathon "It's the costs. We can't afford to let anyone else in"

"Oh look – I know what'll happen to me after tonight. I'll be on a complete downer for weeks. I've split up with my girlfriend. I don't want any money or expenses. Just give me the thrill of performing man, that's enough"

Despite being part of a comedy act there was a darkness about Brian which Jonathon recognised as a creative intensity. He did feel that if he didn't have to sit behind the desk switching music on and off that he would be free to manage backstage. As it was the production was set up that the cast would deal with the set changing but he wasn't entirely happy with that. Louis was a worry and Lara a novice.

"OK" he said abruptly, coming to a decision, and sat on the middle seat in the front row. There was a silence as everyone stared at him, unsure if he meant it. He looked up at them smiling then looked at his watch

"Look we've got an hour before we have to get out of here. Let's get something done. Brian take the scores and go practice then I'll give you the schedule for next week. Thank you for offering, now let's get on"

Sunday was pandemonium as Pop the Hop had official occupancy of the theatre. Lucas had been itching to start work on the set. He arrived early in the morning with an assistant, a very large box of paints and dust sheets, working behind the rehearsals on stage. There was also the first fit of costumes . Louis had no interest in anything other than parading around in a sweeping pale blue robe asking

"Are you sure this suits me? – don't I look a more like a girl than a king?"

Everyone assured him it suited him perfectly. Lara surveyed her plain grey silk dress in confusion. She was the star but seemed to be the most dressed down. However it did not bother her. She was here at last, on a live stage. This was the real world of theatre. They could dress her in a sack and she wouldn't care. She had expected the colours to be bright but they were soft and subdued. The painting on the back wall and floor a pastel vortex, dreamlike and drawing the eye to the centre of the stage so anything outside of that would take place in another dimension. The costumes it emerged all blended beautifully with the colours used. During the lighting rehearsal tiny sparkles could be seen in Lara's dress when she moved. In Grace Lucas let fantasy reign. Her stage costumes exaggerating the bizarre looked entirely natural on her.

"How you've done this in budget beats me" Jonathon told Lucas "Or have you?"

"Just a wee bit over, nothing serious. Now about the..."

"How much over?" Jonathon interrupted him

"Oh I don't know for sure around 1 or 2" Lucas was evasive " It's not relevant, now the..."

"I assume you mean hundred and not pounds" said Jonathon a touch irritably

"Darling it doesn't matter. For the sake of art it can come out of my fee - promise – now about the lighting. Can I have a quick peek at the design before the technical rehearsal?"

Jonathon breathed hard and fast, feeling Lucas was softening him for something he was not going to like.

"I've been through it with Jake. It's a bit late to change it"

" We need to consider the effect – here and there when to use a coloured light, when not. Trust me, it's important. Sorry I should have asked you before – I assumed you would automatically consult me"

Jonathon felt narked. He had not used Lucas for a theatre set before, only for a business set up where lighting was not an issue. But he also knew this wasn't about whether he had or had not missed a point in the production – it was more about him letting go of his script. Slowly but surely this would happen, quicker now perhaps than usual. Lucas had taken over the look of the stage, Brian was in control of the music. He was beginning to feel powerless. After the final dress there was nothing but nothing he could do or say to change anything. Then it was the actors who held everything he had written and planned in their hands.

The following rehearsals were muddled and chaotic. Jonathon, tense and worried was irritable with everyone. Couldn't Louis remember anything? Couldn't Brian time the music right? After the final dress rehearsal he sat alone in the pub downstairs, enormously deflated, staring into his pint. The others had been changing and Lara was the first to join him.

"Are you OK?" she asked.

He had shouted at her earlier for missing coming in on a song. She felt his tension then and carried it with her now

"Not really" he told her then looked up at her and smiled

"Don't worry you're doing a great job. It's not your fault, it's mine for bringing Brian in at the last minute"

"Well but I think we've ironed it out now" she spoke with more assurance than she felt

"Maybe. Maybe not – as I said, your performance is fine. They won't be able to touch that"

"Who are they?" she asked helping herself to a glass of wine from behind the bar and coming back to sit beside him

"Oh the reviewers" he said quietly " If there is an inconsistency, any stumbling, any fault to be found, however small they will find it and display it all over London for the world to see and smirk at. All the effort and hard work and money we have put into this can be destroyed with a few mean words. Tough but that's the way it is"

"Surely it can't be as bad as that?"

He looked up at her and gave a little half smile

"You've never been reviewed before really have you?" he mused "You shouldn't let it get to you but it does. It hurts and the first time someone slates your performance you have to learn to deal with it, move on and past it. I have known actors to give up their careers and I knew one once who attempted suicide after a particularly bad review"

Lara digested this for a moment then decided they were foolish who would let someone else's opinion affect them so badly.

"Wouldn't it be better if they didn't come?" she asked anxiously. Jonathon shrugged

"Infinitely" Jonathon agreed "But we need audiences. Reviews are free publicity. But don't worry, with a bit of luck it'll just be the local gazette tomorrow. Time Out and the others pick their own days – if at all"

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes – tomorrow is the opening night. Had you forgotten?"

"Of course not, but, well I just didn't expect the first night to be reviewed that's all"

"Oh yes, a real opening night with a party after and wine and nibbles provided by Imogen

"Can my family join it?"

"Of course"

The others came down for the usual after rehearsal drink. Lara brushing off Miko's suggestion that she might help him and serve behind the bar took Brian aside and sat with him in a corner. She had a suggestion for a code which might enable them to get their timing better.

Later she went home and the nerves began to settle in. She couldn't sleep at all. Her head was buzzing with everything she had to remember and she could not help but see Jonathon sitting dejectedly at the bar. Finally in the early hours and with a deep and elaborated sense of hopelessness, she fell into a disturbed sleep from which she emerged suffocating and gasping for breath.

The cast had been given complimentary tickets for family and friends for opening night and white faced with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach she greeted her parents, who arrived in the afternoon by car from Epping.

"My God you look awful" her mother remarked bustling into the over ornate living room. Here was the old acoustic piano of her youth – here the Victorian vases and ornaments still adorned the marble mantelpiece with familiarity. Here a photograph of herself as a child in school uniform smiled at her from the recess wall beside the fireplace

"Where's your gran?"

"Am I glad to see you" said a voice from the doorway. Molly proceeded to voice her concerns over the past weeks on their daughter. From being out morning noon and night and often not even then and arriving home in a police car

"I can understand the singing on the steps bit Lara" said her father, when Lara explained the details to him "But not quite the worrying people in their homes bit"

"Now Lara, don't take this wrong – it's not that we don't trust you or anything but we have to ask" her mother broke in "Were you high? Had you taken something?"

"No – I told you I was tested – just a little over the limit on alcohol. I had about 3 glasses of wine in total. Nothing else"

"That would put me under the table" Molly remarked

"And out all night?" her father was pacing now

"Sometimes I missed the last tube and stayed at the pub" Lara explained wearily, thinking of the old chaise longue in the backstage room where she had crashed and been happy. All of this seemed irrelevant to her now. At the back of her head, Alice called – everything she said and did and should say and do and whether or not she would fail.

"All this about people not paying you though Lara. This concerns me" her father went on. Lara sighed. She knew her money making father, director of two companies, would not understand "

She expected this inquisition and was ready for it. In vain did she protest that she was not being exploited by either Jonathon or Miko and gave up trying to explain.

"I think it's about time you started learning a little more about the value of money" her father decided. He had stopped pacing and stood looking out of the window, unable to talk to his daughter face to face

"We're going to have to pull the plug on your allowance sooner or later and it seems that now is the time"

"What right now?" asked Lara, Alice tugging hard

"Only so as you can learn to stand on your own two feet" her mother explained but Lara read between the lines and knew they did not quite trust her story about her arrest. It had happened before when she was 14 and experimented with smoking. Her parents had responded then by stopping her allowance. But it was her music tutor who persuaded her to stop.

"Well look, the best of it is you don't need to finance me any more after this" she told them

"I will have a proper job and can earn enough"

"Enough to finance your own accommodation?" her father turned

"Oh don't worry I've loved having her here" Molly protested "There's really no need..."

"There's every need" said her father grimly "Life is not a free ride, she has to learn"

"I do know all this daddy, it's just that tonight is my opening night and..."

"You know we always wanted you to follow your dreams" her mother went on, Lara wondered if they were even listening to her "But it seems to be a tough road. You don't look well"

"Positively ill" agreed Molly "She hasn't been eating enough. I never see her eating anything"

At which Lara fainted momentarily.

She came to with their faces anxiously over her and her mother force feeding her soup. Spluttering she propped herself up on the sofa where she had been placed, gratefully ate the soup, which was beginning to revive her and smiled thinly at them. Suddenly aware of the importance of time, she glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece and jumped up.

"Got to go" she told them collecting shoes and coat from the hallway and making for the door

"But Lara it's only just past 4" her mother protested "I thought you would come with us in the car"

"Don't be daft" said Lara, pausing before she opened the front door "You don't want to go in yet. Just be there for the performance time"

And with that she shut the door and left. She hurried to the tube with a heavy heart realising her parents were regarding this as every other performance she had done and not, as she did, her introduction into the world of real London theatre, the mark that she had grown up.

She needed to be at the theatre as early as she could for her warm ups, before anyone else – Louis especially with his ridiculous high pitched gargling noises, and Michael who tended to stride about the stage, getting in everyone's way. She just wanted to lie down alone on the hard boards doing her breathing exercise, seeing the lights above her head, cold and waiting for her, then to do her vocal exercises without interruption or interference. But the tube train slowed to a halt and created a half hour wait, the crowds began to build up for rush hour and it was past 6 when she got to the theatre, her heart in her mouth, her body shaking.

Grace was leaning on the side of the theatre doorway entrance, seemingly unconcerned, puffing on a fag

"Hello darling, ready for the off?"

"Oh Grace I'm a nervous wreck"

"Me too. Never mind though. Soon be over. Shouldn't be puffing on these I know but can't do it without 'em"

"It's going to be so awful" aid Lara ascending the wooden staircase

"What is?" asked Grace.

"Tonight" said Lara, surprised "After last night's disgraceful run through"

"Oh bosh!" was Grace's remark "That's nothing. Always happens. Tonight'll be fine"

"Jonathon doesn't seem to think so"

"Why so negative darling?"

"It's my parents. They're coming tonight but I don't think they really understand the importance of tonight"

"Is it important?"

"To me it is. All they could talk about was how I should be supporting myself now"

"Well that's good isn't it sweetie?" Grace looked searchingly into her face "It really shows perhaps that they DO see this as the turning point for you"

"Maybe- I just wish they could be a little more – glad"

"To them it's an unimportant backstreet theatre – but wait till they see your performance and the whole show, stunning, professional. They'll be proud as proud and as for Jonathon..."

Grace paused, touching Lara's shoulders for a moment "You know what. This show doesn't belong to him anymore. It belongs to us. If he doesn't think it will happen it doesn't matter. WE are the ones now who hold the key. WE are unstoppable in our success of this night. Remember that when the lights go up"

They went together into the theatre, Lara wishing she could have just a small part of Grace's faith. Her heart sank further to see Louis pacing about, drawing breath for the high pitch squeal which would follow.

The time drew nearer and nearer. Make up and costume on she peered out from the wings. Jonathon was at the door taking tickets and the seats were filling. She saw her parents and gran arrive and slowly the theatre was nearly full. Suddenly she became forlorn and lost. Her heart was racing uncontrollably and her mind saw nothing, could remember nothing. The theatre door closed and the room was in darkness. In panic she almost fell onto the stage as the lights went up.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

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End file.
